The Calming Scent of Escaping the Shit Show Funny Coworker Candle

Introducing the "The Calming Scent of Escaping the Shit Show" Candle—the ultimate desk accessory for the colleague who juggles deadlines like a circus performer and makes every coffee break feel like a vacation. With a scent that blends "Meeting Room Escape" and "Freshly Signed Contracts," this candle magically replaces office politics with an aura of "I’ve got this" confidence and "Yes, I read the email" clarity. Perfect for the coworker who brings donuts on Mondays, remembers everyone’s birthday, and always has a stapler when you need one. Burn time: long enough to outlast even the most tedious Zoom meetings.

Features 

•  Available in two sizes:

• Standard sized 9 oz jar (3 x 3.5 inches) with a burn time of approximately 50+ hours 

• Small sized 4 oz jar (2 x 2.5 inches) with a burn time of approximately 20+ hours.

• 100% Coconut Soy Wax 

• 100% Cotton Wick 

• White Wax-No Coloring

• Phthalate and Toxin Free 

• Vegan and Cruelty Free 

• Hand-poured in Michigan 

• Ships everywhere in the US via Priority Mail

• Custom and wholesale options available 

• Scent: we have a fragrance for everyone, choose from 40 plus different scents

Candle Care for Eternal Glow

• Maintain a 1/4" wick length for optimal burning.

• Encourage a full melt pool to reach the jar edges to prevent tunneling when initially lighting. 

• Stay attentive and limit the burn time to 4 hours for the organic coconut soy wax. 

• Avoid burning when wax reaches a low level of 1/4"-1/2" to prevent jar overheating towards the end.

Scents are:

• Apple Maple Bourbon: The mouthwatering blend of apple, cinnamon, bourbon, and sweet vanilla in this irresistible baked apple dessert fragrance.
• Black Cherry Merlot: The fragrance begins with lively hints of black currant and apple, enhancing the heart of red wine and black cherry.
• Blackberry Sage: The sharp aroma of sage, rosemary, and mint intertwines with the lush sweetness of ripe blackberries.
• Blueberry Cobbler: Buttery and sugary top notes lead to a luscious core of blueberry, anchored by a base of vanilla and graham cracker crust.
• Champagne Toast: A rejuvenating fragrance that combines the bubbly essence of champagne with the sweet undertones of berries and the lively zest of tangerine, creating a scent that is both invigorating and elegant.
• Cherry Blossom: Distant cherry blossoms mingle with magnolia and rose, complemented by delicate touches of cherry, tonka bean, and sandalwood, creating a fresh and airy fragrance with depth.
• Cinnamon Candies: A year-round gourmand fragrance with the sweet warmth of cinnamon candies, infused with notes of clove leaf, cinnamon, gurjan balsam, eucalyptus, and pine.
• Coconut Milk Lavender: An exquisite and distinct fusion of vibrant lavender, smooth coconut milk, sweet coconut shavings, and sugary vanilla.
• Coffee: A spicy chocolate coffee blend featuring creamy maple butter, nutmeg, and fresh orange top notes, coconut and cocoa middle notes, and a sweet vanilla base.
• Cotton Candy: A delightful mix of strawberries, raspberries, and subtle cantaloupe, wrapped in the sweetness of cotton candy.
• Diet Coke: Experience the fragrance of effervescent Diet Coke! You can genuinely detect the carbonation in the scent.
• Dr Pepper: A unique fusion of spicy orange and cherry, complemented by notes of toasted almond, clove, and cinnamon, resulting in a distinctive fragrance reminiscent of Dr. Pepper Soda.
• Frankincense Myrrh: Bergamot, amber, myrrh, and frankincense combine with wood, incense, powder, and oud, heightened by essential oils for an earthy fragrance.
• Fraser Fir: Experience the true essence of Fraser Fir with a blend of cypress, lemon peel, evergreen, cedar, fir, amber, and moss.
• French Lilac: A floral fragrance with green leaves, lily of the valley, and honeysuckle, complemented by lilacs, clean powder, and woody Amyris for a soft, romantic touch.
• Fruity Pebbles: Tart lemon and sweet orange blend with gentle lavender and hints of corn cereal.
• Gummy Bears: Experience the joy of childhood with the fruity scent of Yummy Gummy, reminiscent of gummy bears.
• Hot Buttered Popcorn: A rich, fragrant scent of a batch of hot buttered popcorn.
• Lavender Driftwood: A unique twist on lavender, blending this classic floral with masculine notes of cypress, cedar, and amber.
• Lemon Pound Cake: Lively lemon peel and juicy lemon provide a citrus kick to this bakery fragrance, with a finish of butter, sugar, and vanilla for a realistic gourmand cake scent.
• Lemon Verbena: Elevated by citrus and sugar, this fragrance centers around lemon verbena and lemongrass with a light, sweet touch.
• Mahogany Shea: Sweet almond top note blends into nutty shea and coconut, with natural woody tones of sandalwood and cedar, all resting on a base of light musk and tonka bean.
• Mango and Gardenia: Balanced with coconut and peach top notes, this fruity floral fragrance is grounded by a base of light musk and tonka bean.
• Nordic Night: Eucalyptus and lavender top notes lead to a pine-centered fragrance, resting on an herbal, woody base of rosemary, cedar, and oakmoss, ideal for candles and melts.
• Ocean Breeze: Aquatic notes are enriched by airy ozone, while wood, violet, musk, and cotton blossom at the base provide depth, creating a uniquely extraordinary scent.
• Orange and Patchouli: A sweet, juicy orange seamlessly melds with the unique, earthy undertones of patchouli.
• Passionfruit Pineapple: Pineapple, peach, and tangy grapefruit mingle with tropical passionfruit, mango, and coconut, complemented by zesty lemongrass and musk for a well-rounded fruity fragrance.
• Rosemary and  Sage: Refreshing eucalyptus and pine combine with green florals, rosemary, sage, and cedar.
• Rustic Lodge: A warm and masculine blend of pine with smoky-sweet pipe, accented by hints of cedarwood and amber.
• Sage and Lavender: Sage, rosemary, and chamomile enhance the earthy lavender, complemented by sandalwood and cedar in the base, with a boost from clove, lavender, and cedarwood.
• White Tea and Ginger: A popular combination of white tea, lemon, yuzu, clean florals, and spicy ginger.
• Sugared Chestnut: Sweet and cinnamon-infused top notes blend with chestnuts and warm amaretto, anchored by a base of caramelized sugar, butter, and tonka.
• Teakwood Citrus: The exotic scent of Amazon teakwood blended with fresh, juicy citrus fruits.
• Very Vanilla: Hints of vanilla bean, buttercream, and cake, with a subtle touch of bourbon.